YOU

Errgh ya i'm in the bad feelings right now. There's something wrong with my mind since yesterday, hmm how to explain it? I don't even know, it's very complicated, but obviously i missed someone out there. Ya, i'm talking about someone in here (it's rarely isn't it?). Someone who always text me everyday and everynight. Someone who always makes me smiling everytime i receive the text because he often called me "Miss beautiful" or another words that could make me stopped breathing. Someone who has many experience of his life and never doubt to sharing them with me. Someone who can give me an advice, Someone who always understanding me and willing to listen all of my confide, either it's happy, grumpy, sad, my feeling at that time, and about my experience. Someone who used to tell about his family, his favorite, his friends, his life, and...what else?  

He has something that can make me comfortable: He is a good adviser. He is quite mature. He is an independent guy. He is funny. He is very love talking. And the important: Now, he's not a stranger again for me. He is very different from what i have been think before: he is an arrogant, stubborn, weird, and cold guy. Of course i'm very wrong! Okay maybe in people eyes, he was like that. But just for me, in real life, he wasn't like that.

  

And now, here i am: worrying to him because he doesn't text me. Haisss i'm very sad right now. He suddenly disappeared. I'm feel lonely and need him to talk about something. What's going on with you? Honestly i really want to text him first, but i can't. Doesn't he realize that i'm woman? OMG I suddenly wanna crying. Really i miss you...

worst holiday ever

Yo, it's almost weekend guys (oh...and also worst holiday). Now is Thursday, tomorrow is Friday, and then Saturday, and after that....New Year!! Yeeeah let's said: WELCOME 2012 :D Huah i'm so excited for waiting that year (i don't know why) but i guess because in 2012 there are some great days and also exciting days not only for me, but also for all grade 3 students all over Indonesia. You know what is that? yess, U-A-N. My mom said that it will be held on middle April, but my school give information about March or whatever.... I don't know which is correct, but clearly...i don't wanna get-fully-stressed- because exam. I just tried to enjoy everything as long as i'm still being student, as long as i'm still wore uniform, as long as i'm still in Senior High School, and before i entered the busyness world of work (i thought..it'll be complicated). 

Talking about New Year, i don't have any resolution for 2012. If people are going to make a resolution for next year, honestly i feel so lazy to making resolution. For what? i think it's nonsense. Doesn't mean i'm never making resolution before, of course i had some resolution in previous year but the result? I forgot what I had planned. No, I didn't write them on paper. Everything is messed up. Yes i'm suck. I don't want too rely with resolution, just let it flow! But i don't want to judge that makes resolution is wrong, i told you...it's just my principles. Back again on your choice.

Well yeah, forget about exam and resolution. Now, how about my holiday? okay don't ask me...Is over six days and i haven't got any plan to enjoyed my holiday. Actually Mr. Ade gave me advice to doing an internship but i still doubt. He told me that i could apply become waitress in a restaurant like Pizza Hut, McDonald, Hoka Hoka Bento, or etc, with purpose for adding my allowance and of course to fill my holiday (beside, to adding my experience he said) Honestly i really want, but i'm not sure :( I was in hesitancy at that time but my little heart saying 'NOT'. Just to let you know, i can't be in the crowded for a long time. Moreover, i'm lazy if i haven't friends who accompany me. I prefer stay at home then start to write something. I know it sucks haha, maybe i should waiting 3 or 4 years to get my bravery and after all, i can did it. (I hope so..)

Consequently, i through this week with full of boredom. Just stay at home all day long is made me crazy! Ya, i almost crazy. I'm not going anywhere except once (when Monday) i went to Bogor Trade Mall with my sister. Actually, i need to buy Raditya Dika's new book 'Manusia Setengah Salmon' but i realized that my money isn't enough (blame my mother! bsc she didn't give me an extra money). Finally my sister invites me to watch movies. She really wanna watch 'Garuda Di Dadaku II' but i'm not agree with her. I said that i don't like Indonesian movie, i better choose western movie because it more good and i can learning English from them. Hihihi yes i know, that's not good. Doesn't mean i don't love my country (hey, i was born in Indonesia), but in fact, imported movies are more preferred and good than Indonesian (too much weird and stupid horror in here. I don't like it huh). So, we cancel plans to watch the movie and switch to plan B: Shopping! 

Before shopping, we went to Mr.Baso for having lunch. My sister who recommended that place, she told me that the price isn't too expensive. I'm ordering bakso for lunch because it's very suitable for weather: cloudy and after raining. And my sister just ordering ice mix with kidney bean.

Bakso, the right choice for warm my body

Hmm...quite good :) i'm very satisfied with my lunch and my sister too. I'm full already...Alhamdulillah. Well, we leaving mr.baso and started to searching some stuffs.

My sister looking for a similar ring-like Tegoshi Yuya. She's very love him since watching 'My Boss My Hero' one of Japanesse drama. Haisss so difficult to find a ring like him! I'm pissed off at that time. My sister is too obsessed with that ck ck ck. 

Meanwhile, i've found the stuffs that i'm looking for....

pink ribbon for my head. It's so cute, isn't it?

And also i bought this...

Cutest book for my courses note yeaaah!. I like it! I also find -another-cute-book like that on rack. I get confused, which one should i choose? All of them are very interesting. But finally i took this one...

 In this way, i hope i'll be more eager to read my english notes haha Ameen :) For your info, i usually feels reluctant to open my note (another student problem i think) I don't know why. So, don't comment anything....!!

Another things that happen on my holiday is....nothing else! haha. I spent my time to watch movies that i've got from downloading. I've been watch 17 Again (uyeah i know it's old films), but so far...i enjoyed it. Zac Efron is too cute huaaa....i like the part when he advise Stan in cafetarian and embarrass him in front of other children.

[Mike tries to stand up to Stan's bullying for Alex]

Stan: "Give me my ball back bitch".

Mike: "You know Stan I feel sorry for you".

Stan: "You don't know me"  

Mike: "Oh, but I do all too well. You're the man. Captain of the basketball team, dates the pretty girls, high school is your kingdom. But people, Stan is a bully. Why? It'd be way too easy to say Stan preys on the weak simply because he's a dick. No... no... Stan here is much more complex than that. See, according to leading psychiatrists, Stan is a bully for one of three reasons..."

 [while playing with Stan's basketball] 

Mike: "One... underneath all that male bravado, there's an insecure little girl banging on the closet door trying to get out. Two... like a caveman, Stan's brain is underdeveloped. Therefore, Stan is unable to use self-control. And so he acts out aggressively. Three... Stan has a small wiener" Tsaaah....all of people are shouting hard. And finally, Mike said: "Don't hurt yourself, big boy"

I also like dialog when Ned complaining about Mark clothes:

Ned Gold: (looks at mike's clothes) "What are you wearing?"
Mike O' Donnell: "This is cool. This is hip. There's a picture of Kevin Federline wearing the exact same thing. What are you wearing? You're supposed to show up like a dad, you look like Clay Aiken!" 

 

I'm laughing so hard at that time wakakaka...two old man talking about their clothes and thinking they're bit like a young artist, Kevin Federline and Clay Aiken. Wtf? hahahaha...

Kevin Federline & Clay Aiken ihihi

Scarlet felt weird with Mark faces that are similar to her ex-husband

Scarlet and Mark when 17 years

I like to seeing American students when they're at school. Go to school without an uniform, wearing a big headset everywhere, singing alone so loudly, (they don't care what people said. And i imagine if it happen in Indonesia....haisss people would look at me very strangely and kept looking at me everyminutes. Wtf!), free lunch in the canteen, become cheerleaders, talking about party, dating, or etc. I think the schools over there are identical with basketball, and bullying. I don't know why, but clearly...I like it overall. And now, 17 Again become one of my favorite movies haha (i'm so late to realize), stop complain okay???? shut up..shut up...

Not only 17 Again, i also watch Eat, Pray, Love; and The Art of Getting By a.k.a Homework, and some of Korean drama. My internet connection is very nice for downloading, so I'm not upset anymore and getting streesed as before :D Oh ya, i suddenly remember about Scary Movie. Yess, i watch that film when Nadya and Heru comes to my house. We watching together in living room through my laptop and laughing my f*ck ass off so hard like crazy poeple when there's a funny and silly scenes. Eventhough the tittle is "Scary Movie", but i think it's NOT really really spooky. Instead there are many hilarious scenes and ridiculous in them. Huuahahahaha

So guys, that's my holiday. Insya Allah, next week i'm going to museum Bank Indonesia with my friends. I just tell about it with my mom and Alhamdulillah she allowed me to go. I hope it will be fun and become my day (ameen). Anyway, Happy New Year for you all and enjoy your New Year eve! Have a nice day :)

with love,

Labibah 

Little depressed

BF OR WTF ?

I don't know, i just feeling that i lost something in my life that i ever had before. It's not  treasure, it's not stuffs, it's not about anything which people can seeing. But it's about FRIENDSHIP. Yes, we can't see friendship because isn't a thing, but we can felt friendship from people who give us an affection and concern with sincere. We can felt it when they're always attend to listening what we are feeling at that time, either it bad news or good news. And after that, they're giving us a response or maybe some advice, then ...we feeling more better after we've done :) That's simple. Friendship doesn't need money. Friendship isn't expensive, only needed the ears to listen and mouth to giving response. 

BUT....i realized that i haven't been completely doing like that. Sometimes i wasn't there when they're need me. Sometimes, i was too engrossed in my own world until i didn't knowing what's going on with my friends (okay, seems like selfish, right?). Perhaps, it's the reason why i loosing some of my old friend (actually my bestfriend). Yeah they've found a better than me since Senior High School. They too enjoyed with their new friends. And of course...their personality has been changed become weird. They don't realized it (of course) but i know it, yess absolutely i know it. I guess, there's something wrong with them. OH MY GOOD! MY BESTFRIEND...We almost never texted to each other although on social network. It's such a worst thing!! fuck yeah. Why it could be happen? I never want to be like this. Just to let you know, i never change! I'm still Bibeeh who geeky person. Funny person. Once again i told you guys I'M NEVER CHANGES. 

Ohhh.... i really miss the old you guys :(  why you're changes?? become strange people for me. You never greeting me on twitter, facebook, or etc. DO YOU NOW? I MISS OUR FRIENDSHIP .....I know maybe i'm boring, i don't have a lot of money, i'm rarely hang out with you, but i've to TRIED to keep my personality. I NEVER CHANGE! I NEVER....They always said that i'm arrogant, wtf...who is actually arrogant? don't they realize? hah? I already lost patience. I'm surely hate this situation...okay?

Haah....this post i made for my bestfriend when JHS and my childhood friend.  

Hey, my mouth full of blood :(

Sebelumnya, gue ingin mengucapkan puji syukur kepada Allah SWT yang telah memulihkan kesehatan gue seperti sediakalanya sampai saat ini. Alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah....alhamdulillah....Tanpa izin-Nya, mungkin gue tidak akan seperti sekarang. Gue masih dalam keadaan 'sekarat', masih seperti 'vampir', masih kayak orang abis di babak belurin, pokoknya masih dalam keadaan tidak semestinya seperti orang normal.
So, apa yang terjadi? apa yang di maksud dengan 'memulihkan kesehatan seperti sediakalanya?', well beginilah ceritanya...

Selama dua hari terakhir gue dilanda kepanikan luar biasa. Gue baru saja menjalani operasi kecil yaitu pencabutan gingsul. Ya, kata dokternya memang harus di operasi sebab posisinya sangat rumit; terjepit antara gigi bawah dan gingsul tersebut berukuran kecil. Gue sempet nervous karena ini adalah pertama kalinya gue dioperasi meskipun hanya operasi kecil. Tapi ya alhamdulillah sih lancar-lancar aja meski operasinya lumayan lama karena kendala behel. Namun ketika di rumah, petaka pun tiba! Niat hati sebelum tidur gue ingin melepas kain kasa yang sudah penuh oleh darah. Tapi ternyata kain kasanya nyangkut di behel (lagi-lagi karena behel). Gue berusaha ngeluarin kasa itu tapi gak berhasil berhasil. Gue teriak-teriak manggilin kakak dan ibu karena panik banyak darah yang keluar. Gue disitu udah kayak vampir. Gigi gue udah berwarna merah pekat. Gue teriak sejadi-jadinya sampai membangunkan bapak yang udah tidur. "Kenapa sih?" | "INI KASANYA NYANGKUT DI BEHEL!!" bukannya bantuin, bapak malah ngomelin gue. Katanya, gue bukannya langsung tidur malah ngurusin kasa. Kakak gue ngeliatin sambil menatap ngeri, ibu spechless mungkin karena kaget juga ngeliat darahnya keluar banyak gitu. Akhirnya setelah berkutat dengan kain kasa yang menyangkut, bapak pun mengambil inisiatif untuk memotongnya. Proses pemotongan kain kasa berlangsung cukup lama. Ibu menyenter mulut gue agar bapak bisa melihat lebih jelas lagi. Gue nyesek abis, udah lemes, badan gue menggetar takut takut yang kegunting malah bibir gue. Bukan apa-apa soalnya bapak gue itu orangnya gugupan.


But he was successed! Legaaa banget akhirnya bisa lepas (dan saya menyalahkan behel! fuck). Sayang sekali kelegaan gue tidak berlangsung lama. Darah masih mengalir dari bekas cabutan gigi. Panik. Shock. Stress gue ngeliat darah dimana-mana. Bapak kemudian membelikan es batu di warung untuk mengompres pipi gue supaya darahnya beku. Namun nihil ! sia-sia aja, darahnya terus mengalir sampai malam. Gue tidur pun dengan keadaan yang amat sangat tersiksa. Pikiran gue sampai pada kematian! gue fikir gue akan mati saat itu juga karena kehabisan darah. Ya allah beneran deh oksigen di kamar gue rasanya terbatas banget. Udah pasrah aja deh gue, semuanya gue serahin sama Allah.

Sampai pada besoknya gue sekolah masuk pagi jam 7 untuk ulangan bersama. Kondisi gue pada saat itu belum kunjung membaik, darah masih keluar dari mulut. Alhasil gue harus membawa sapu tangan ke sekolah. Sialnya, temen gue si Ryan gak kunjung menjemput gue. Akhirnya daripada telat, gue naik angkot sendiri dengan kondisi gak enak banget (ya allah tersiksa gue waktu itu). Bisa bayangin dong gimana risihnya kalau mulut lo penuh sama darah? ngomong pun jadi gak nyaman karena takut sewaktu-waktu meluber keluar. Setiap kali keluar, selalu gue telen. Gue gamau terus-terusan meludah karena pasti akan capek saking banyaknya dan gak abis-abis.

Sampai di sekolah gue pun terlambat. Ujian pertama adalah B.Indonesia dan gue gak belajar sama sekali. Gimana mau belajar kalau kondisi masih kayak begini? boro-boro mikirin belajar, udah capek sama yang namanya darah. Brrrrrrrr ~~~ mungkin gue sedang diberi cobaan sama Tuhan. Gue mencoba untuk tidak menyesali apa yang sudah terjadi, misalnya gue nyesel karena udah nyabut gingsul yang sebelah kiri. Capek kalau terlalu sering menyesal, buang buang waktu aja. Mendingan gue jalanin meskipun terkadang masih suka mengeluh.
 
Di sekolah, teman-teman gue pada penasaran sama kondisi gue. Mereka banyak bertanya mengapa bisa kayak gini, mengapa bisa kayak gitu? dengan penuh kesabaran gue jawab satu persatu kalau ada yang tanya. Gue tidak ingin dalam kondisi sakit masih aja marah-marah, gue harus menghadapi mereka dengan sabar. Hampir semuanya menyanyakan dan memberikan gue semangat. Ada juga yang kasian sama gue (ya allaaaah haruskah? hahaha). Ada yang meringis ngeri karena ngeliat gue nyengir, isinya merah semua. Ada juga yang gak tega ngeliat gue kayak gitu. Berdarah-darah menyeramkan. Ada juga yang menyalahkan gue kenapa cabutnya pas lagi ulangan? Dan yang paling bikin gue nyaman lagi adalah saat mereka menemani gue pada jam istirahat. Gue yang pada saat itu tidak ingin jajan, memutuskan untuk stay di kelas sampai bel masuk. Dan banyak dari mereka yang ikutan stay di kelas menemani gue. Beruntung banget gue gak sendirian. Mungkin kalau mereka jahat, bisa aja gue di tinggalin ke kantin, ya kan? Pokoknya dari situ gue mengambil kesimpulan bahwa mereka ternyata care sama gue. Kita ngobrol-ngobrol banyak hal. Si Fajar terus-terusan bikin gue ketawa sedangkan gue saat itu tidak boleh ketawa lebar-lebar karena takut jahitannya terbuka (nyiksa). Intinya sih gue ngerasa terhibur dengan kehadiran mereka di sekitar gue.

Lucunya gara-gara kondisi sakit gue itu, mereka memperlakukan gue kayak artis. Gue menjadi pusat perhatian sehari. Kemanapun gue pergi, mereka ikut. Gue ke tolilet, mau bersihin darah, mereka ikut. Ya allah bener-bener deh sayang banget sama merekaaaa!!!Tidak hanya itu, mereka jadi lebih care sama gue. Waktu gue udah mulai males ngerjain soal, si Ryan yang nulisin essay gue sampai selesai. Waktu gue mau bersihin mulut, si Iddonk ikut ke toilet sama Camai. Megangin kerudung biar gak kena darah. Waktu gue nyuci sapu tangan yang banyak darahnya, si Bait yang ngejemurin diatas genteng. Waktu gue mual, gue minta tolong Frasky ke warung buat beliin minyak kayu putih. Dan waktu gue muntah darah (disini klimaksnya), mereka beramai-ramai ke toilet buat nemenin gue. Ada anak cowoknya juga malah, padahal itu di toilet cewek. Percakapan-percakapan mereka ituloh yang gue sukai. Sangat mengerti gue. Kelihatannya emang kayak sok tahu, tapi semuanya bener.

Gue pulang sekolah pun masih dianterin Ryan. Anak cewenya pada gak tega kalau gue pulang sendirian naik angkot dalam kondisi kayak orang babak belur begitu. Baju dan rok kecipratan darah. Kerudung juga. Lengkap sudah. Untungnya gak ada rasa sakit sama sekali. Cuma darahnya yang gak nahaaaan!! Pulang-pulang gue nangis. Sendirian di rumah, kelaperan. Bener-bener menyedihkan.

Alhamdulillahnya, pas sore gue ke dokter dianterin ibu sama bapak. Mereka ngejelasin secara detail semua kronologinya kenapa bisa sampai seperti ini. Akhirnya si dokter pun menangani. Gue di suruh kumur betadine, dikasih obat pengurang pendarahan, dikasih alkohol, dibersihin darah-darahnya termasuk yang menggumpal, dan terakhir dikasih kasa lagi. Dan....VOILA! darahnya beneran berenti. Betapa bahagianya gue :) masih gak percaya gue udah sembuh walaupun belum total banget. Sekarang masih bengkak sih, tapi dengan menghilangnya darah aja udah cukup bikin gue seneng. Kata dokternya kira-kira 3 atau 4 hari akan mengempes.

Huaaaaa...happy banget bisa normal lagi. Akhirnya setelah 2 hari berkutat dengan darah, gue bisa sembuh lagi. Capek banget ngeliat darah begitu banyak. Ini bakalan gue jadiin pengalaman dalam hidup meskipun pengalaman pahit. Tapi tentu saja dibalik pengalaman pahit itu, terdapat kenangan manis yang diberikan teman-teman gue. Oh iya, sampai di rumah, si Doi sms gue lhooo. Nanyain kenapa tadi di sekolah muntah darah ahahaha. Rada telat sih, tapi yaa tetap aja gue senang. Hihi

Dan untuk ibu sama bapak, maaf banget udah nyusahin, ngerepotin kalian. Entah berapa biaya yang mereka keluarkan untuk penyembuhan anaknya. Demi gigi-gigi gue yang letaknya tidak beraturan ini. Ya Allahku, terimakasih sekali lagi. Beruntung banget di kelilingi orang-orang yang sayang dan care sama aku. Makasih Allah atas semua kehendak-Mu ini. Atas semua sehat yang engkau berikan hari ini.

Sekian curhatnya....capek nulis mulu. Byeee