Showing posts with label when i was. Show all posts
Showing posts with label when i was. Show all posts

Thursday, December 22, 2011

HOW TO SPELL MY MOM ? A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

These days, December 22, all of people around the world celebrate Mothers day. This is not a big celebration like Eid or Christmas, but it has a deep meaning behind all. We were to be reminded again about the sacrifice and struggles our mom from the pregnancy until encouraging their children as now. It's not easy. 9 months she brought us wherever she's gone (with a bloated stomach): office, market, event, bathroom, or etc. But she never complained. She always enjoyed without any feelings of burden. I suddenly remember Iwan Fals songs:

Ribuan kilo jalan yang kau tempuh
Lewati rintang untuk aku anakmu
Ibuku sayang masih terus berjalan
Walau tapak kaki, penuh darah... penuh nanah

Seperti udara... kasih yang engkau berikan
Tak mampu ku membalas...ibu...ibu

Ingin kudekat dan menangis di pangkuanmu

Sampai aku tertidur, bagai masa kecil dulu
Lalu doa-doa baluri sekujur tubuhku
Dengan apa membalas...ibu...ibu....

Seperti udara... kasih yang engkau berikan

Tak mampu ku membalas...ibu...ibu  

 I have one on my laptop and...special for this day, i repeat that song again and again (hahaha). And about my mom, ugh! i can't describe anything. Essentially she is the best one. I can't live without her. Eventhough i know, i'm not deny that sometimes she makes me annoying. Sometimes i mocking her on behind when i feeling grumpy. Sometimes i like to against her when she gives me advice. Sometimes i refused when she asks me for help. And many more ' negative sometimes' which i often do with her. Oh my god, how many sins that i have  ?? I'm regret.. I don't want to be a lawless child for my maam. I hope Allah forgive me for all the sins that i do. Ameen :(

And for my maam...i'm sorry i doesn't give you a gift on this mother's day. I just have a kiss, hug, and loves for you. I'll gave it later when you coming back from office, okay? So, be careful mom, keep mature, keep 'gahool' *LOL*, keep young, keep strong, keep patience, and keep to be my mom who always understanding me. And also, thanks for your love. Thanks for your affection, thanks a lot because you already keep me during 17 years and let me grow up like now. I'm really grateful to Allah because i'm still with you. Thanks for everything mom...thanks :)

Your kid,
Labibah



Wednesday, December 21, 2011

BF OR WTF ?

I don't know, i just feeling that i lost something in my life that i ever had before. It's not  treasure, it's not stuffs, it's not about anything which people can seeing. But it's about FRIENDSHIP. Yes, we can't see friendship because isn't a thing, but we can felt friendship from people who give us an affection and concern with sincere. We can felt it when they're always attend to listening what we are feeling at that time, either it bad news or good news. And after that, they're giving us a response or maybe some advice, then ...we feeling more better after we've done :) That's simple. Friendship doesn't need money. Friendship isn't expensive, only needed the ears to listen and mouth to giving response. 

BUT....i realized that i haven't been completely doing like that. Sometimes i wasn't there when they're need me. Sometimes, i was too engrossed in my own world until i didn't knowing what's going on with my friends (okay, seems like selfish, right?). Perhaps, it's the reason why i loosing some of my old friend (actually my bestfriend). Yeah they've found a better than me since Senior High School. They too enjoyed with their new friends. And of course...their personality has been changed become weird. They don't realized it (of course) but i know it, yess absolutely i know it. I guess, there's something wrong with them. OH MY GOOD! MY BESTFRIEND...We almost never texted to each other although on social network. It's such a worst thing!! fuck yeah. Why it could be happen? I never want to be like this. Just to let you know, i never change! I'm still Bibeeh who geeky person. Funny person. Once again i told you guys I'M NEVER CHANGES. 

Ohhh.... i really miss the old you guys :(  why you're changes?? become strange people for me. You never greeting me on twitter, facebook, or etc. DO YOU NOW? I MISS OUR FRIENDSHIP .....I know maybe i'm boring, i don't have a lot of money, i'm rarely hang out with you, but i've to TRIED to keep my personality. I NEVER CHANGE! I NEVER....They always said that i'm arrogant, wtf...who is actually arrogant? don't they realize? hah? I already lost patience. I'm surely hate this situation...okay?

Haah....this post i made for my bestfriend when JHS and my childhood friend.  

Monday, December 19, 2011

just a little bit

Hello bloggiest! Hello everyone! Hello dude! Hello Monday! Now, i don't wanna complain about Monday as usual. I'm free today yeaaah :D *give me applause guys! give me applause* i'm not attending school these day because i think, there will be no lesson after exam. Hmm...how can i say? It seems like classmeeting! ya, just classmeeting (oh okay actually, it can't called classmeeting bcs...errggh yeah you know what i mean :@) So complicated if i tell you about the actually happens. I imagining that it will boring if i'm in school now. I could do anything at home all day long. Watching tv program, watching dvd, browsing, reading a novel, taking photos, or etc that i want!! Yes, just one day! Just one day before i return on super busy school activities. I never feel bored with those activity because i like what i do everyday :) I love my job.

So, i ought grateful to Allah for this life. As long as i still has a chance to enjoy it, i don't want to complain. Keep smile and take care yourself dude... xoxo


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Confused with you

Oh fuck i can't sleep again. I don't know why everynight i alwasy like this, whether insom, whether thinking about you, whether thinking the problem with my parents, or another thoughts in my brain that always bothered me, i don't really know what the reason is it. But for now, i guess it because of Nescafe effect. Ya, i had just got one and the taste is not too bad (okay i know i'm tacky), but hey i bought it with my own money hahaha. Oh well just for info, I spend my money for having fun only if i getting stressed like now. Doesn't matter about the price, is important i felt very satisfied after all. So please don't comment anything!!

I'm waiting my parents going to sleep while i keep laying on bed and reading novel. When they're started to do, i get up from bed and then make sure that my parents already entering bedroom hahaha. Yess it's my modus because my dad will be angry if i haven't yet go to sleep on middle night. And now, i successfully doing that modus. I took mom notebook and brought to room. I locked the bedroom door and then started to surfing in cyberspace hahahha XD *Hey dad, hey mom, see...see..your daughter! hahaha what she did at this time?. hahaha LOL. Now, i using your notebook mom. Can you see me dad, mom? hahaha oh ya im forget, you both already sleep. Hahaha Okay have a nice dream then :p bubye*

Well, here i am. Sit in front of notebook and don't even know what topics that i gonna wrote. I don't want to tell you about parents (oh shit, it so bored). Better i tell you about him right now. Yeay H-I-M..
He text me first about two hours ago and as usuall, he asking "Ehm. What are you doing" and actually i want to reply: "I just waiting your text" *slapped*, obviously it wasn't happen. Am i crazy? hahaha. Honestly before he texted me, i just feeling that i miss him very much. I wonder, why he didn't yet texted me? I'm waiting him for a long time. AND SUCKS! i suddenly get sadness during wait his text. I'm trying to keep positive thinking, example: maybe he hasn't pulse, maybe he's busy, maybe he turning off his phone, maybe he bla, maybe he bla...bla bla bla. But shortly afterwards, god hearing my pray, my phone vibrates and when i opened it turns out a text from him. He text me at 19:24, i suddenly very happier. I'm so lucky.



   
But isn't too long, we just talked for a while and after that, he was disappear, didn't know where is he gone :( He hasn't reply my last text. I only get little sad because at least, he text me first on right moment when i really really miss him. Okay i must accept it. Huhuhuhuhuuaaaaa asdlsjlhfhkld. One thing that i always ask with myself, whether i'm the only girl that he text, or there are others too?? Oh my good, i worried guys. It seems like i want to grab his phone and check the inbox one by one. Seeing whose people that he texted. I'm thinking ...only me the person who there's in his inbox. But i realized, he is just my friend. Very stupid if i do it because i don't have rights. (may i called it fallin in love?)




Everytime i got his text, i feel so very very happy (i don't even know) feel different when i received text from another man. My feeling was more happier. But sometimes he makes pissed me off because he reply for a long time. Although we only talking about the same topics like usual, but it doesn't matter for me. (again and again....this is love?). I still don't understand why everytime we meet at school, we never talking by face to face? we were like a strange people. Feel awkward to stared face each other. Feel awkward to say 'hello' or eventhough to smile. Why oh why?...

Damn misterious! until now, i don't have a wishes for being his girlfriend. I don't wanna get hurt when i knowing that he finally with another girl. I don't want get a disappointment in the end. I must be patient and just enjoy this condition. Besides, i don't want him to rush to take action. Just let it flow dude. Okay??   









Monday, December 12, 2011

After we graduate

Hallo blogger selamat malam :) alhamdulillah bisa nulis lagi setelah seminggu penuh gue berjuang dengan ujian akhir semester yang cukup menguras tenaga. Well, gue tidak berlebihan kok tapi memang beneran menguras tenaga. Seriously gue sempet sakit waktu UAS berlangsung. Gue terkena serangan 'mulut berdarah' yang sudah gue ceritakan di postingan sebelumnya. Betapa waktu itu gue tersiksa banget dengan mengalirnya darah segar yang keluar dari bekas cabutan gigi gue. Gilak bener-bener pengalaman mencekam banget buat gue. Tiga hari berturut-turut mengeluarkan darah dari mulut itu rasanya melelahkan sekali. Dan sekarang gue menjadi sedikit trauma jika melihat darah. Hummm....alhamdulillahnya sekarang sudah seperti sediakala lagi. Tentu saja itu semua berkat kehendak Allah SWT, tuhan yang memberikan kesehatan bagi seluruh umatnya. Love you :)

And now, gue sudah mendapatkan inspirasi untuk postingan kali ini. Yap, gue tiba-tiba teringat kata-kata Pak Adang yang beberapa waktu lalu beliau bicarakan di depan kelas seusai pelajaran Seni Budaya. Awalnya kita dibuat bingung dengan pertanyaan beliau: "Bapak ingin tanya, apakah kalian sudah membahagiakan orang tua?" kita semua diam. Bingung mau menjawab apa. Gue sendiri bingung, kira-kira udah apa belum ya? haha. Melihat anak muridnya tidak ada yang menjawab, maka beliau pun merubah pertanyaanya menjadi: "Begini deh, apa yang sudah kalian berikan kepada orang tua?" OH NO! ini lebih complicated lagi pak. Ada yang tanya "Dari hal yang kecil gak apa-apa pak?" | "Ya, gpp. Apa saja. Hal apa saja boleh" | "Ya banyak pak. Banyak ye kan?..." | jawab kami berbarengan. Saling menatap teman satu sama lain. "Oke, apa itu?" tanya beliau lagi kepada kami semua. Ada yang jawab "Beres-beres rumah", ada yang jawab "Nabung", "belajar dengan giat", "bantuin orang tua", bahkan ada yang dengan polosnya bilang "kalau disuruh orang tua langsung laksanain pak" (hahaha). Pak Adang hanya manggut-manggut tanda mengerti. (walaupun gue yakin, yang dia inginkan bukanlah jawaban seperti itu)

Lalu beliau memberikan petuah kepada kami selama beberapa menit. Isinya tentang orang tua. Kalau menjelaskan secara detailnya, gue sudah lupa apa-apa saja yang di katakan beliau. Yang pasti kontennya menyentuh banget, ngena banget, mengharukan banget sampai-sampai kita semua terdiam dalam keheningan. Kita menyimak dengan sungguh-sungguh, mencoba mencerna satu persatu kalimat yang keluar dari Pak Adang. Ternyata banyak betulnya juga apa yang di katakan beliau. Kita sudah benar-benar terhanyut dalam pidato beliau sampai pada akhirnya beliau menyuruh kami untuk mengeluarkan pensil dan kertas selembar. Seketika, kami semua bereaksi kembali setelah cukup lama di hipnotis beliau.

Kami semua sibuk merobek kertas dan membaginya pada teman sebangku (kecuali anak yang pelit, gak pernah mau rugi hanya untuk merobek pertengahan saja). Pak Adang kemudian memberikan perintah: "Baik anak-anak, sekarang di depan kalian sudah ada kertas putih kosong. Nah, bapak ingin kalian menuliskan MINIMAL 10 impian-impian kalian yang ingin sekali terwujud. Boleh berupa cita-cita juga, terserah apa saja. Pokoknya yang ingin sekali kalian wujudkan. Ingat ya MINIMAL 10. Dan satu lagi....menulisnya dengan TANGAN KIRI!!" Sontak, kita semua kaget. Perintah terakhir beliau itulah yang menurut kami tidak wajar. Untuk apa menulis dengan tangan kiri? pasti sangat jelek tulisannya. Jadinya tidak beraturan kayak ceker ayam. Kalau Camai sih nggak masalah karena dia memang biasa nulis pake tangan kiri alias kidal. Namun beliau punya alasan dibalik itu semua, seperti ini: "Bapak ingin kalian merasakan bagaimana perjuangannya untuk mengejar impian. Bahkan untuk menuliskannya diatas kertas sekalipun kalian harus bersusah payah dahulu". Oke sekarang gue mengerti. Apa yang di maksud dengan 'susah payah' itu adalah ketika kami menulis dengan tangan kiri yang..semua orang tahu kecuali orang kidal bahwa tentu saja itu tidaklah mudah. Yap, sekarang gue mengerti. Then, i started to wrote all my goal. 

Selama proses menulis itu, anak-anak pada riweuh alias ribut. Ada yang ngeluh pegel, ada yang ngeluh jelek banget tulisannya, ada yang minta diajarin camai supaya diberi tips bagaimana cara menulis dengan tangan kiri (yang satu ini menurut gue rada konyol, karena camai sendiri merasa tidak ada yang berbeda). Tapi momen ngeluh mengeluh itu tidak berlangsung lama karena tanpa terasa kami semua mulai serius dengan apa yang ditulis. Kami mulai konsentrasi. Meraba-raba impian apa saja yang mungkin bisa terwujudkan.

Hingga hampir setengah jam (waktu yang cukup lama hanya untuk menulis 10 hal), beberapa anak-anak ada yang sudah selesai tapi banyak juga yang belum. Gue termasuk yang belum karena ada banyak impian yang gue tuliskan lebih dari 10 (yeay, i'm a dreamer) itu sudah termasuk sama cita-cita gue dan satu diantaranya ada impian yang tidak penting yaitu keinginan untuk bertemu seseorang (huaaa). Diantara kami juga tidak ada yang saling membocorkan rahasia impian tersebut. Kami menguncinya rapat-rapat. Cukup diri sendiri dan Tuhan yang tahu.

Lalu setelah memastikan muridnya sudah selesai semua, beliau menyuruh kami untuk melipat kertas tersebut menjadi 4 bagian. Dan yang terakhir (sesi paling mengharukan), Pak Adang menyuruh kami untuk menutup mata | "Sekarang, tutup mata kalian. Pegang erat-erat kertas impian kalian tersebut. Pegang....pegang....pegang..." *hening*. |Nah, sekarang bapak kasih waktu 15 menit untuk berdoa. Ucapkanlah apa yang ingin kalian sampaikan agar impian tersebut terwujud. Dan ingat! jangan membuka mata kalian sebelum selesai". Kami semua menurut. Suasana kelas hening untuk beberapa saat. Sepi, sunyi, tentram, dan damai. Seperti tidak ada manusia di dalamnya. Semua temen-temen gue khusyuk berdoa. Entah ada berapa impian yang mereka tulis, gue tidak tahu. Yang jelas, pada hari itu Allah mendengar doa puluhan anak remaja kelas 3.

Gue masih terus berdoa. Mengucapkan dalam hati. Sampai pada akhirnya gue mendengar suara isak tangis Novi dari sebelah. Tangisannya pelan tapi gue bisa mendengarnya. Gue pribadi sejujurnya rada sedih juga. Terharu biru, tapi entah kenapa rasanya tidak ingin menangis saat itu juga. Yang gue rasakan hanyalah rasa sesak di dada. Seperti muntahan yang keluar begitu saja. Dan memang, gue nangisnya ketika sampai dirumah. Gue tumpahin semuanya.

Kemudian yang gue dengar adalah suara Pak Adang yang membangunkan kami. Beliau berkata bahwa ia juga pernah melakukannya ketika masih sekolah dulu. Dan dari kesemuanya yang ia tulis (gue lupa beliau menyebutkan berapa), ada 5 yang sudah terwujud sampai sekarang. wow! pantas saja beliau menyuruh kami seperti ini, ternyata beliau sudah lebih dulu mengalaminya. Pak Adang lalu memberikan upeti untuk tidak menghilangkan kertas tersebut. Kami harus menjaganya dengan baik dan jangan sampai hilang. Jika suatu hari nanti ketika kami sudah dewasa membuka catatan itu lagi, kami pasti tersenyum dan teringat akan kenangan seperti ini. Berkata: "Hey! ini kan waktu gue masih SMK disuruh guru kesenian. Ya ampuun!! OMG masih ada aja".

Di akhir kata, yang masih terngiang di benak gue, Pak Adang bilang "Kalian akan menghadapi hidup baru setelah lulus nanti. Kalian akan menghadapi dunia baru dimana orang-orang yang akan kalian temui sangat berbeda karakternya dari teman-teman yang  sekarang. Setelah lulus, kuliah, bekerja, menikah, dan punya anak, kalian pasti akan merasa rindu untuk memakai seragam lagi. Kalian akan memandangi seragam putih abu yang digantung lalu tiba-tiba berputar kembali kenangan-kenangan masa-masa seperti ini. Maka dari itulah mulai sekarang janganlah kalian mempermainkan waktu, atau waktu yang akan mempermainkan kalian. Nikmati selagi ada"

That's my fave quotes from him. How i'll missing that moment with them. And now, i'll never forget what they did for me. Thank's for my art teacher, Mr. Adang :) you gave me a lot of lesson on that day. Thanks for your experience, i'm so appreciated it.