Confused with you

Oh fuck i can't sleep again. I don't know why everynight i alwasy like this, whether insom, whether thinking about you, whether thinking the problem with my parents, or another thoughts in my brain that always bothered me, i don't really know what the reason is it. But for now, i guess it because of Nescafe effect. Ya, i had just got one and the taste is not too bad (okay i know i'm tacky), but hey i bought it with my own money hahaha. Oh well just for info, I spend my money for having fun only if i getting stressed like now. Doesn't matter about the price, is important i felt very satisfied after all. So please don't comment anything!!

I'm waiting my parents going to sleep while i keep laying on bed and reading novel. When they're started to do, i get up from bed and then make sure that my parents already entering bedroom hahaha. Yess it's my modus because my dad will be angry if i haven't yet go to sleep on middle night. And now, i successfully doing that modus. I took mom notebook and brought to room. I locked the bedroom door and then started to surfing in cyberspace hahahha XD *Hey dad, hey mom, see...see..your daughter! hahaha what she did at this time?. hahaha LOL. Now, i using your notebook mom. Can you see me dad, mom? hahaha oh ya im forget, you both already sleep. Hahaha Okay have a nice dream then :p bubye*

Well, here i am. Sit in front of notebook and don't even know what topics that i gonna wrote. I don't want to tell you about parents (oh shit, it so bored). Better i tell you about him right now. Yeay H-I-M..
He text me first about two hours ago and as usuall, he asking "Ehm. What are you doing" and actually i want to reply: "I just waiting your text" *slapped*, obviously it wasn't happen. Am i crazy? hahaha. Honestly before he texted me, i just feeling that i miss him very much. I wonder, why he didn't yet texted me? I'm waiting him for a long time. AND SUCKS! i suddenly get sadness during wait his text. I'm trying to keep positive thinking, example: maybe he hasn't pulse, maybe he's busy, maybe he turning off his phone, maybe he bla, maybe he bla...bla bla bla. But shortly afterwards, god hearing my pray, my phone vibrates and when i opened it turns out a text from him. He text me at 19:24, i suddenly very happier. I'm so lucky.

   
But isn't too long, we just talked for a while and after that, he was disappear, didn't know where is he gone :( He hasn't reply my last text. I only get little sad because at least, he text me first on right moment when i really really miss him. Okay i must accept it. Huhuhuhuhuuaaaaa asdlsjlhfhkld. One thing that i always ask with myself, whether i'm the only girl that he text, or there are others too?? Oh my good, i worried guys. It seems like i want to grab his phone and check the inbox one by one. Seeing whose people that he texted. I'm thinking ...only me the person who there's in his inbox. But i realized, he is just my friend. Very stupid if i do it because i don't have rights. (may i called it fallin in love?)

Everytime i got his text, i feel so very very happy (i don't even know) feel different when i received text from another man. My feeling was more happier. But sometimes he makes pissed me off because he reply for a long time. Although we only talking about the same topics like usual, but it doesn't matter for me. (again and again....this is love?). I still don't understand why everytime we meet at school, we never talking by face to face? we were like a strange people. Feel awkward to stared face each other. Feel awkward to say 'hello' or eventhough to smile. Why oh why?...

Damn misterious! until now, i don't have a wishes for being his girlfriend. I don't wanna get hurt when i knowing that he finally with another girl. I don't want get a disappointment in the end. I must be patient and just enjoy this condition. Besides, i don't want him to rush to take action. Just let it flow dude. Okay??