don't underestimate me!

Heyya i'm back! omg...how i miss my blog so much :( i almost have no time to open laptop. It's because my mom. She didn't allowed me to playing laptop until examination!! She always told me and reminded me to studying...studying...and studying everytime. Erggh ya, i can't refuse her. As long as i'm still her kid, i must following what she said. I don't wanna make my mom disappointed. Moreover, it's all for me too, isn't it? My parents, they're really expect me to give the best. And of course... to get a good college for my future. Sincerely, UI.

Ehm ya, UI. The one of biggest university in Indonesia and of course favorite. Sometimes, i asking to myself "Can I?" "Can I?" "Can I?" when i remember how tight the competition to get there. You know, people are talking about SMPTN, and talking how difficult is it. Ya Allah, that's true? if yes, make it easy for me then :( Everytime i hear people's story about it, and they're failed after passing a test, i often feeling give up. I was pessimistic in first. Just like "omg, she failed. Me too?" and all the bad things in my mind has come. My sister always supported me. She said: "You shouldn't thinking like that. You should think "Oh, she was failed. So, i must be!. I don't wanna like her" and everything nice advice that my sister gave to me. Oh well, i appreciate it.

I'm afraid in math test by the way. I'm not deny, math is my weakness. Admit it! Math is my enemy. I don't know, whether in English Literature there's mathematics or not. Obviously, if still there, i hope is not difficult as i imagine before. My sister, again and again... give me a positive word. She said "The first way to make Math is easy is make it your best friend!!" or "don't thinking that math is difficult. They will easy if you don't hate them" or .... "let's studying Mathematics with me!" OH HELL NO!!! What she thinking about ? i'm suck on it. My brain seems like refusing all of formulas. I don't even know, why am i very stupid on math! since I was elementary school, my parents already know that i'm suck on math. I prefer to language or english.

And another problem that usually make me doubt to get UI is... i come from little worst school at Bogor. Okay, maybe you don't know what i mean. So, let me to tell you. Yess, i'm not a Senior High School student actually. I school in VOCATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL or people knowing with SMK. My school isn't popular. Messy and suck! That's why i often thinking that i'm not able.

When people ask me where am I going after graduate, and i answer "Going to UI", they will showing are- you-sure? face. I hate it. Really hate it. Why people underestimate my dream? What's wrong with my answer? oh fuck them. Don't they realize that i need a support? Maybe they remember about my school. They remember where I school right now. And so they thinking that they're not sure. They think that I CAN'T GET UI. It's impossible for me. But who cares? Their negative mind instead make me spirit to reach my dream. I don't want to give up. I've a million dream in my life. I'll to prove them that they're wrong. That of course i can get UI. And one day... if i succeed, they will regret with their mind about me.

Now, i might be strong when people thinking like that. About my school. About i'm not able. About i'm stupid. About i'm not smart than my sister. But i promises... I WILL SHOWING THAT I CAN!! THEY'RE WRONG!! OF COURSE I CAN!! Wish me luck...