daffodils

That floats on high o'er cales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd

A host, of golden daffodils

Beside the lake, beneath the tress,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze

-by William Wordsworth-

(Eclair, Pagi Terakhir di Rusia)

I'm that friend...

credit: we heart it 

i don't know

this feeling shouldn't be happen

i'm just tired of this shit

i just want to keep a distance between that people

to make this feeling disappear

Past and Now

I remember when i was child, I followed my sister everytime she played with her friends and disturb her with my annoying act. I just wanted to join with them. I just wanted to have a lot of friend like my friends. But my sister hates me. My sister didn't want if I joined with her friend. She ignored me. Of course. She was angry.

"You are very annoying!!" she said.

"Go to your friends! Don't follow me!" she said again. 

I remember how was my sister's face at that time.

I cried. I told to my grandma. My grandma got angry, and my sister was scolded by her.  

But it just a past.. 

Years by years, it's not happen anymore between us. Because we are mature enough to understand 'what the meaning of sibling' . As long as getting older, we are become more closer than before.

My sister graduated from junior high school, senior high school, and time has gone so fast to brought her became S.si (bachelor of science). Yeah, she graduated on December 2012 from Bogor Agricultural Institute. And i'm proud to have a sister like her!  

She understands me very much as her sibling. When i'm sad, she would ask me and I told her what actually happen or everything in my life. She gives me either advices or idea after that. And I do the same.. I'm willing to be her listener. We often share each other about little thing, secrets, history, and experience. 

And yeaah.. that's a short story about us. Actually so maaaaaanyyyy things that i want to share but i don't have much time to tell you.
 But anyway, I'm really grateful to Allah because he gave me a sister like her. I wish we would have a chance to seeing our children live together. Her little family and mine. I wish we could share each other about marriage, kids, and education to our children then. And i wish Allah gives us a time until those wishes become true.. Aamiin....

Left side: When we were kid | Right side: we are now

Some togetherness

Fooooolll

Never look away

It's all in the details.

They way someone stops smiling the moment you aren't looking.

How their answers become shorter, their laughter a little bit more forced for every time.

You'll sometimes catch them with distant look in their eyes, as if they're staring into the big nothingness that surrounds them.

Completely gone. Lost. Alone.

You might find that they start distancing themselves from you, making excuses, feeding you with their little covering lies.

"I'm just tired," they'll say.

They'll laugh it off, every single time. You should pay attention to how they start covering up their bodies, hiding every inch of their skin, hating every inch of their skin.

They won't take your compliments, if so, you'll only get a simple 'thank you' and they will take it all for lies.

Self hate could easily be mistaken for self irony - although they say it with a smile on their face, keep your eyes open for the empty look that follows.

Pay attention.

Never look away.

Because they are nearly impossible to spot, unless you're one of them.

month by month

This straight-up means you are the most good looking person possible, better than all of these other months!

-Loyal and Generous-

-Patriotic-

-Competitive in everything-

-Active in games and interactions-

-Impatient and hasty-

-Ambitious-

-Influential in organizations-

-Fun to be with-

-Easy to talk to, though hard to understand-

-Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know-

-Easily influenced by kindness-

-Polite and soft spoken-

-Having lots of ideas-

-Sensitive-

-Active mind-

-Hesitating, tends to delay-

-Choosy and always wants the best-

-Temperamental-

-Funny and humorous-

-Loves to Joke-

-Good debating skills-

-Has that someone always on his/her mind-

-Talkative-

-Daydreamer-

-Friendly

-Knows how to make friends-

-Abiding-

-Able to show character one guy/girl kind of person-

-Loveable-

-Easily hurt-

-Prone to getting colds-

-Love music-

for you

I love that you know me.

I love your facial expressions

I love the way you say my name

I love the way you want to tell me things

I love your smile

I love your laugh

I love that we have the same sense of humor

I love that we're on the same wavelength

I love the friendly flirting

I love our conversation

I love that you care, even if it's not the kind of care that I want

I love that you are never awkward arround me

I love how you smell and how it lingers on my clothes

I love your hugs and how they're warm and safe

I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh

I love how you're such a geek sometimes

I love that I'm your favourite

I love that our hands fit together perfectly

I love that you're concerned about me

I love that you make me do that cliche sigh

I love how you make me burst into fits of laughter after everything you say, 

because you really are that funny to me.

I love how you trust me

I love how we're best friends.

I love that I can trust you

I love that you're close by

I love that I was able to know you.

I love you

I love you, Dan